Scientology – East Hollywood Blues

While waiting for the light to change near the Scientology HQ on Sunset, I found myself standing next to two Man Buns dressed in the requisite White V-Neck T-shirts, Tan Khaki’s and Brown Birkenstocks. Although I tried to ignore their occasionally Dude and Pigeon Simile inflected patter, I soon was drawn into the conversation, a conversation that sounded a lot like an intervention.

Man Bun 1: Dude you have stay away from the Meth. It’s like killing you.

Man Bun 2: But everybody like uses Meth dude.

Man Bun 1: But you’re like shooting it and it’s killing you.

Man Bun 2: Do you want me to snort it dude?

Man Bun 1: Dude you have to stay away from the Meth. It’s killing you.

Man Bun 2: Ok dude, I’ll like switch to Crack.

Man Bun 1: Seriously?

Man Bun 2: Seriously dude no joke. I mean it. I’ll switch to Crack.

Man Bun 1: Thanks dude. It’s classier.

Somewhere Frank Sinatra is calling Momo Giancana to order a hit.

A very cute curly haired 25 year old brunette in a brown velvet skirt, black sweater and dark red Raggedy Ann shoes was talking to a 26 year old boy, totally tatted up from his head to his toes while he lamented being unable to find work. She was listening and trying to look concerned but she wasn’t – she had a quota to keep. You see the very cute curly haired 25 year old brunette was a puller for Scientology.

Guy: I’m having problems finding a job.

Girl: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Guy: All my tatts.

Girl: NO! I love your tatts. They are so sexy.

Guy: But I think they keep me from finding a job.

Girl: NO! You are so hot in those tats. You can’t find a job because your Preclear.

Millennial flirtation Scientology style.