As I was crossing Beverly to get my morning coffee in a gray hoodie, cargo shorts and sunglasses an elderly Latina lady in a white blouse and blue jeans grabbed my elbow and told me I was the Messiah come again to save the world. She kissed my hand then walked down Kenmore Ave followed by two Millennial hipster types with long ZZ Top in ten years auburn beards wearing identical blue and gray shirts.

“He does look like the Messiah, doesn’t he,” he breathlessly agreed with her.

It seems the rules have changed. From now on, the Second Coming in hipster millennial circles will be clean shaven. I guess DeLillo was right. When it comes to facial hair don’t bother. Show them the bland expanse. It is more effective than one would think.