East Hollywood Blues

A Diary Of Life Among Millennials

Month: October 2017

Cops Aren’t Real Sources

There is a police action on the northwest corner of Beverly and Kenmore, 20 yards from my apartment. Three Millennials, two boys with horrible haircuts, ironic beards and torn Tommy Bahama shirts and one young lady with an expensive bag and very cheap shoes are talking to one of the militarily clad (female) LAPD officers whilst texting away on their cellphones.

As I wait for the light to change, the police officers come back to their cars placing brandished shotguns, pistols and rifles back where they belong.

Said three Millennials walk past me typing furiously on their phones.

Guy 1: Can we trust her?

Girl with expensive bag and bad shoes: Cops aren’t real sources.

Guy 2: Word.

Citizen journalism at its finest.

A Lousy Negotiator

A local red hatted Meth freak who differs from the local green hatted meth freak in hat color alone stops me 10 feet from the corner of Berendo and Beverly and asks me if I want to buy a great used but perfect condition mountain bike that just fell off a post for $50.

He pushes said bike toward me as I walk away. By the time I’ve walked to the corner 10 feet away he’s dropped the price to $12. As I step into the intersection he says ok man for you $10.

Moral of the story: Meth makes you a goyish negotiator – and stupid.